Posted In: Comics Blog
After many a teasing image and viral video, we now have a solid, trailer for Pacific Rim. Warner Bros. has released the first trailer for Guillermo del Toro‘s Pacific Rim, starring Charlie Hunnam, Idris Elba, Charlie Day, Rinko Kikuchi, Max Martini, Rob Kazinsky, Clifton Collins Jr., Diego Klattenhoff ,and Ron Perlman. This trailer makes my brain hard. Yes you heard me, let me tell you why. So, Del Toro went to a Major movie studio, in this case Warner Bros Pictures, and said I’ve decided to make a war movie with giant monsters and robots, and it goes like this. Some rat bastard broke the sea floor and tore a big hole in the bottom of the ocean where giant monsters are pissed at us for whatever reason god only knows. These same monsters decided that they are going to wipe the human race out, but mankind’s says, ”We’ve got this covered.” As kids we all watched Godzilla, Evangelion, Power Rangers and Big O. So yeah, we are so ready for you sea monsters from a ripped hole at the bottom of the ocean. Then the Exec at WB said, “Huh, wwhhaaattt, come again?” Del Toro replied, ”I know right!”
This movie is like Godzilla and Power Rangers are having an affair and Godzilla got pregnant with Rangers’ love child. For some reason Big O was upset. Power Rangers and Big O cheated on Godzilla and had another bastard child. Evangelion was like dude, I need to get in on some of this action and leaked to the tabloid that he’s having a love child with Godzilla and the tabloid went wild with the story. The tabloid reported that Godzilla raped the Queen of England and had a love child called PACIFIC RIM. Yeah, it’s that kind of party. There’s chaos on the streets, people are dying and then the Brits send in Idris Elba to cancel the mounting apocalypse. The Execs at WB, those beautiful patriots, wave to Guillermo del Toro to pass the weed he was smoking and take a big puff and say, “Dude, that’s the movie we want to see. Here’s what we are going to do. We’ll drive trucks load of money to your houses, you send us the verb-age for Pacific Rim and you can start tomorrow!” To his amazement, standing there in his Doctor Strange outfit, Guillermo del Toro said, “I’m game” and walked out.
Swear to God that’s what happened. The next morning Guillermo del Toro E-mailed this to the Execs at WB.
“When legions of monstrous creatures, known as Kaiju, started rising from the sea, a war began that would take millions of lives and consume humanity’s resources for years on end.
To combat the giant Kaiju, a special type of weapon was devised: massive robots, called Jaegers, which are controlled simultaneously by two pilots whose minds are locked in a neural bridge. But even the Jaegers are proving nearly defenseless in the face of the relentless Kaiju.
On the verge of defeat, the forces defending mankind have no choice but to turn to two unlikely heroes – a washed up former pilot (Charlie Hunnam) and an untested trainee (Rinko Kikuchi) – who are teamed to drive a legendary but seemingly obsolete Jaeger from the past. Together, they stand as mankind’s last hope against the mounting apocalypse.”
Tell me that your brain didn’t just have an orgasm!
Your beloved Raphie